‘As far as I am concerned, I have never been in love. Can’t wait for my true love to find me’
My hips exist to bring children into this world
My breast exist to nurse my babies
My lips exist to speak my truth
My mind is my playground
It is where I dream beautiful things
It is in my heart that I plant the seeds of love
Its is through my blood that runs through my veins where I grow lasting trees of hope
Do not assume that I am yours
I am not your property
I am my own legacy
My purpose is to serve God by growing his population
Don’t assume I am here for you
This week was hard for me. I had to make some hard decisions. And although I made them, my emotions still got the best of me.
One of the leading factors was religion. On this journey to understanding myself I had realized that I needed to know God. Two different religions how could anything possibly work?
Here’s what I learned. Religion is supposed to be a bridge that connects you to God. There are so many religions in the world but what matters most is that it helps you feel a sense of calmness when you pray.
If it helps you, then dont change for anyone.
That got me thinking. Religion is a personal thing. So I did some research, ‘interfaith marriages ‘. All the blogs I read concluded to just one thing. They worked because they were complete on a personal level first.
If you have to change someone religiously then are you really standing for what religion is supposed to do. And if you are changing someone just to belong then are you not placing someone above God himself.
One particular blog I read spoke about how they were both able to have a deeper connection in their own religions as well as to understand the other persons faith and beliefs.
My old view point was that I had to convert had I fallen for someone outside of my religion. Now my view point has changed. I say find yourself in God however that may be. The reason I came to that conclusion is this. Religion is not about proving which is right. It’s about finding a way to life. There’s a deeper meaning to life then the career, money and all that fun.
Religion is a sense of individuality. So often we just want to belong. But that’s not the point. The point is to exist in a pure state. A state that does not devide us religiously.
So I stand firm in this. In this modern day world, maybe, just maybe, we have lost the meaning of what religion is. Maybe it’s become about acquiring the masses. From all my thinking, I now know this. It is a choice, it is a practice. It a guideline to life. There’s isn’t a right or wrong one. What matters is how you interpret the word and how you use it to become one with God. Religion is like a painting. We may all see it differently.
I choose spirituality. Because this way I am able to treat the next person with love and not see them for their differences.
Love and light…
Last night she sat by the window
Talking to the moon
She wondered if she could find love
The kind that made her heart smile
She shed a tear and felt her heart beat
Today she received flowers
The kind that every girl wants
She thought of her conversation with the moon
The moon must of heard her cries
She had felt noticed
Her heart warmed up
Her smile grew
She instantly knew who they were from
Her hope grew
He felt it too
He changed how she looked at love
In those flowers
She knew he was the one
Oh but I love it
Keeping it locked up is not love
You must set it free
So that it can live
And not just survive
You are holding it back
The little thing is yearning to spread its wings
Look into its eyes
Its filled with wonder
Listen to its heart
It beats with excitement
It might get hurt
Keeping it caged is hurting it too
It might forget me
But you are wrong
It will carry the memory of you inside its little heart
The poem that started my journey as a writer.
Photo by Jenna Hamra from Pexels
In the acres of white snow
Stood in the far distance a bright and colorful red rose
The cold air from the icy winds had turned his heart into stone
Her soft touch would melt his fears
She had hope like the red rose in the white snow
Even through the cold she would continue to grow because her love was true
He had never seen such beauty
She stood out like thorns and pricked his imagination
She looked so content in her existence
She was untouched, strong and yet fragile
He wanted to make the red rose his
There was a fear inside him
Seeds of doubt occupied his mind
He had seen other flowers
But he had never seen a red rose in the acres of white snow
I used to wonder why it did not all work out. What exactly was I missing in the planning of my future? At this point I did not have the degree, the paycheck, stylish clothes or the partner I was seeking.
At this point, I was depressed, sad and anxious about a future I wanted so desperately. My thoughts seemed empty and my heart felt hungry. Something in me was missing. I was burning with desire for more. I was looking for a certain type of love that no one could fulfill.
It was the middle of April when all I wanted to do was die so I could start over. I sat at a street corner looking at the moon crying my eyes out. I questioned everything I had believed in and everything I was told. I felt that for the first time in a long time, I really spoke to God.
And then it hit me. I was placing all of my desires above God. I was not being grateful. I was not trusting his timing nor was I placing my belief in his ways. I loved everything else but him. It dawned on me that it was time to grow a relationship with HIM. The person that never judged me. An unconditional love that it almost makes me uncomfortable.
Needless to say, I set out on a journey. A prayerful journey. I had become so caught up in my yearning to be someone that I had forgotten how to pray. At first it was hard. All I did was thank God for the blessings I had.
Eventually, I grew stronger and felt more at ease. I worry a bit less now and seek his approval in everything that I do. There seems to be a scripture that I keep running in to.
Submit to Him and he will make your paths straight.
I have long way to go. In my faith to just be happy, I believe I will get there. I promise to keep you posted on this journey. There is a certain kind of light that I seek.